Escape is not always a possibility. For a moment, this evening, I managed to escape for just a split second and I can thank someone I did not know at all. It happened with the movement of a hand. Let me explain. As I was driving home, listening to the news, I found myself deep in reflection of what is happening all around us. There is just too much to deal with coming at us from all sides. Reality was getting a little too close for me and I found my reflections wandering off into some dark waters. I got an email today from my Physician telling me that he is adjusting his practice in order to survive the coming implementation of Obama Care. He let his nurse go. He is going to limit his patient load. He is going to offer a multi-tier level of service depending upon your opting to pay an extra fee for services per year. It will be like joining a Medical club, in a way. I had to digest this notice of impending change.... There is that Change our President spoke of. Anyway, what it boils down to is if I Hope to get the same level of Medical Care as before, I will have to pay a fee of $1200.00 per year. Wow! And that does not include the copays I normally would have to pay, along with deductibles and such. HE LET HIS NURSE GO AND IS NOT GOING TO REPLACE HER! If you opt for the non-extra fee level of service, your appointment is on a space available basis. Your average length of time spent with the Doctor will be 4 minutes and there will be no comprehensive checkup unless you schedule one and pay in full at the time of the appointment and file your own paperwork and wait for reimbursement from your insurance. If you are a Medicare Patient, you might as well forget it. He is going from a patient load of around 3000 to only 600 or so patients. When I read all this and let it sink in, the reality of the new Health Care Act hit me square in the face. The proverbial THEY were indeed right. It sucks getting old. Then top all that off with the news about the Middle East and the economy and the other mess and well, it is enough to ruin a dinner. So, as I drove home, contemplating all that, I felt the darkness covering my usual bubbly personality. It was at that point, I had to stop for a red light and found myself watching the pedestrians crossing the street in front of me. All seemed to be rushing to beat the change of the light to avoid the traffic. And there it was....It being a hand gesture from a nice lady crossing in front of my truck. The gesture was like a dance move you might see on the stage of a graceful dance in Bali. It was just a flick of the wrist to form a delicate curve of the hand and arm. I am sure it was just a meaningless movement on her part as she rushed across the street, but to me it was a dance movement that flooded my mind with memories of beautiful dancers, gracefully moving to the floating notes of a song. Purposeful movement of head and eyes and neck and body and arms and especially hands told a story to the watcher of the dance. It was a delight for the eyes and the mind and the ear. Just for a moment I was not in Austin. I was on an island in the South Pacific, away from all the news and fighting and protest and economics and gloom. I was lost in a dance move that involved the graceful curve of a hand held just so....
I live in an Unobstructed Universe. My reality is not your reality. I dance to the sound of a different drummer and that drummer only plays for me. I can close my eyes and escape to this world and not have to see what is here in your world. It is not like sticking your head in the sand. It is like stepping through a curtain to another room that is so peaceful and lovely. Only I can go there and only I control what else is in the room. I only choose to surround myself with lovely things that delight the senses and entertain the soul. I can find beauty in a simple movement of a soft hand. I can see how marvelous the human heart can be if allowed to flower into something filled with love. I can smile and radiate kindness to everyone of every race, color and creed who seeks peace and comfort and security like I do. I can invite them all to sit and share a meal and a song and a laugh no matter what is going on outside of my room. That is my escape.
Someone asked me the other day what I thought I was in a former life. I was taken by surprise by the question. I never expected this person to even have any interest in the subject. I blurted out an answer of, "a soldier. A soldier in another life that might have been in the last big war...World War II." I think I could have added much more to the idea of who I was. I think I could have said I was a dreamer. I know I have fought before. I know I got my fill of death. I know I desired to seek the sublime and peace of knowledge and spirit. I have turned onto a different path these days. I know more now than I ever knew before because I learned many lessons somewhere back there in a different reality and time. I don't know all those lessons in the front of my mind but I know them deep down inside. They are there, hidden from obvious view. They are there to guide me. They might be just as real as that hand motion above. They might be as illusive as that special place I go to escape. Seek the truth. Seek the path that you must travel. Dream the dream that gives you peace.
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